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The Bane of My Existence

It’s there,

It’s always there,

The bane of my very existence.

I pray for it to go away,

But it fights my resistance.

My own thoughts,

They've become my enemy,

Plotting and scheming

To dismantle me.

What am I to do if my reason for living

Is gone?

What is the future if my purpose

Is wrong?

I have been focused,

I’ve done what’s been asked,

Yet, my body can’t fulfill

What it’s been tasked.

If this is the end,

What was it all for?

To bleed my emotions

Until they’re raw?

To test me and best me

In all that I tried,

To play me and beat me

‘Til my hands are tied?

So throw me on the heap,

I’m all spent and done.

Let me fester in the dark,

Don’t let in the sun.

For what am I if this is all that there is?

What am I now, after all of this?

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